I'd like to meet our Taylor

In Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London," there is the line, "I'd like to meet his tailor." Whenever it comes on the radio, I sing along (if there is no one else in the car, of course), imagining the line ending with "Taylor."

"I'd like to meet his Taylor."

Taylor was going to be the name of my daughter, if my wife and I ever had a daughter.

We had three sons.

So all of my scripts have a Taylor in them. Some have side characters named Taylor. In "The Bride and the Grooms," Taylor Green is the main charater. I wrote the part of Taylor Green for Jennifer Garner, a Golden Globe-winning, Emmy-nominated actress who has carried several movies on her own. Since Jen was unavailable, I had to look elsewhere.

So my expectations for the actress who would play the lead role in "The Bride and the Grooms" were, I guess you could say, raised.

Through the roof.

Sky high.

Which is why the audition process started a year ago. I had made the bold proclamation that I was going to make a feature-length romantic comedy movie, and I had to find actresses and actors to play the parts.

Oh, and did I mention that they all had to accept deferred pay? I needed great actors who would work for no up-front money.

This should go well.

On a Sunday afternoon in the basement of the Madison Branch of Lakewood Public Library, near Cleveland, Ohio, actresses and actors lined up outside the door to perform lines that I had written. It was a surreal experience. For years, I had thought up these lines, changed them, tweaked them and finally showed them to others. And these people, whom I had never met, were not just saying the lines. They had memorized the lines and were performing them in character.

Surreal.

Many of the actresses, of course, wanted the lead role. They wanted to be Taylor. I wanted one of them to be Taylor. I needed one of them to be Taylor. She is the anchor of the movie. As I said hello to them in the hallway and had them sign in, I thought, "I'd like to meet our Taylor."

There were several impressive performances. In that first audition the hilarious Michael Wendt and Melissa Logsdon (both pictured) won roles. I cast another actor and another actress who would end up moving to California and had to back out.

Surprise of all surprises, I also cast the role of Taylor.

The actress nailed the audition, and I could not believe our good fortune. I thought she would be the most difficult person to find. But here she was. We talked over the role, she accepted my offer and I brought her the script.

And I never heard from her again.

(To be continued. Next: Beginning again at Bennigan's)